Writing Amok

Ed3508 Communications Technology: Activity #5 Mini Lesson with ICT Focus

2011-10-08T23:37:00.000-07:00

J comes after I

2010-08-17T01:42:00.000-07:00

Coincidence versus Purpose. A remarkable concurrence of events, apparently by chance or an intended result of effort.

I put a lot of effort into living, so I would be very upset if coincidental living were to take up more than 50% of the events in my life. Previous to our knowledge that we were going to Japan, previous to knowing remotely where Sapporo is on a map, I was debating over the many routes I could take in my life as of September 2010.

There was Plan A: Go to the college to take massage therapy and eventually ART. There was Plan B: Keep applying for engineering jobs and find one that is in the city while working part-time. Then, Plan C came along, that is Rob teaching at Hokkai Gakuen University, which blew Plans A and B completely out of the water.

I spent agonizing days and evenings since April trying to imagine my life in the future as a massage therapist or scouring websites for engineering jobs. This is my 100% effort. Trying to figure out life. Trying not to miss what is happening in the present. Trying to fit my life as a mother into the working world. Always remembering that I must fit into my children's lives. My soul has felt crushed under the weight of the hammer that forces the proverbial square peg into the round hole.

My self-inflicted madness manifested many years earlier. I remember writing to a friend that I didn't think I recognized myself after becoming a mother. My priorities changed...I became responsible for someone else's life...my occupation extended far beyond a mechanical engineer...there's no article about this in the Professional Engineering magazines I read.

So where does this prelude take me to today? Well, much my chagrin, I just finished reading Elizabeth (Liz) Gilbert's "Eat Pray Love" this morning. It was on my 2009 reading list, but an attempt at "Moby Dick" sidetracked my read-one-book-a-month ambition. Thus, it is coincidental that:

I just finished reading this book as Julia Roberts hits the silver screen with said screenplay.
I will be turning 35 years old later this year when in Japan. This is the same birthday Liz celebrates while she is in Bali, Indonesia.
I am continually searching for inner peace (not that I don't know how to find it, it's just that when it affects other people, the procedure is more delicate and difficult). I quell my worries with yoga, dance, singing, CrossFit workouts, Muay Thai, and BJJ. Liz found a publisher, a guru, a medicine man, and a Brazilian, enough said.
The author was divorced and didn't have kids, so she found "pleasure in Italy, devotion in India, and balance... in Indonesia." I am going to Japan (exquisite food, Zen Buddhism, Brazilian?! Jiu Jitsu) with my kids and husband. J comes after I.

Enough on the parallels.

Needless to say, I loved every word of this book. I may be the only person in my family and amongst friends who actually read it and liked it. I'll take the hit.

There was complete reverence that I felt when I read about the Vietnamese monk, poet, and peacemaker Thich Nhat Hanh in the 38th tale. I have been working on the mantra of "done is done" for years...my whole life, actually. I have a hard time letting events remain in the past, not letting old toxic emotions consume me when I replay scenes in my head over and over again. Reading Tale 38 somehow gave me leave of this habit...I finally accepted that no matter what decisions have been made in the past, whether the decisions were good or bad at the time or in retrospect, it doesn't matter anymore. What matters is the here and now. What matters is how you deal with the here and now. Take the lessons of yesterday, remember them, let them guide your future - not consume the rest of your life.

I didn't read beyond Tale 38 that night. I fell into a sweet slumber. I felt light and happy, a release of all the internal pressure from rehashing a past that could not be changed. The past, thankfully, has lead me to Sapporo, Japan.

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

"Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

"Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

I Like My Soon-To-Be Expired Passport Photo Better...

2010-08-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

Of the many things we are doing to prepare for our Sapporo trip, Rob and I went to Calgary this week to renew my passport and to buy Rob some new clothes.

The renewal process for my passport was quite successful (save for the argument we had about where to park). It will take a week to get my new passport, but at least this gives me time to relish in what is the best ever passport picture I have ever had of myself to date! Sure, it's the blank expression pose, but really...I think it's an a-ok photo.

My Best Ever Passport Photo So Far

In my excitement for Japanese shoes, I couldn't possibly leave Rob in the dust. He, too, must have some kicks to strut around Sapporo. I really am proud of Rob...these shoes are out of his fashion comfort zone, but are by far comfortable. I spotted these shoes in my usual shopping-scanning mode. If a clothing item doesn't catch my eye from 10 feet (oh...maybe I should use metric for Japan practice), rather 3.048 metres, then I don't even touch it. Here are Rob's new shoes...I think he can pull them off with a pair of jeans.


Robeez new kicks!

It is also interesting to note all the material goods that we enjoy from Japan. I always thought I was meant to live in Australia/New Zealand (rugby, sailing, surfing), or Brazil (surfing, samba, BJJ)...perhaps though, I am to be in Japan:

Honda vehicles
Kaizen
martial arts
snowboarding
surfing
not feeling so lonely because I am amongst lots of brown people (really, I used to hang out at the Vietnamese restaurants when I lived in London, ON because I missed my family a lot...I'd almost be crying into my noodles! And, you could imagine my excitement visiting Vancouver where there were billboards of Asian people everywhere I looked...that was refreshing!)
frequent handwashing
bullet trains

and for Zane and Mike:

Pokemon
Bakugan
dragons
Tokyo Tower (reference to Pixar's "Tokyo Mater" a la "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift")
ninjas
samurais
chopsticks
Sapporo beer commercials (again, it's really the dragons)

I do realize that Canada does offer all the same things - Alliston, ON Honda factory and all of my list except for the bullet trains, but as it is in Japan, perhaps it is all about the presentation.

Here's a video of the kids paying tribute dragons and swords. It was taken using our new Kodak PlaySport camera (waterproof to 3 metres and impact proof... can you say snowboarding vids??).
Good night! Oyasumi nasai!

Nihongo hanasemasen. = I can't speak Japanese.

2010-08-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

The Girls

I have heard from other women who went to Sapporo that the shoes are incredibly fashionable and a shopping highlight! I didn't think I should show up in Japan with unsightly treads, so these two pairs (The Girls) will be coming with me. Perhaps one pair of shoes from Japan will come home with them. No new boys though. I love the quantity I already have.

The Boys

So, I have pretty much known that I am someone who needs to plan events to a detail of non-surprise. Not a bad quality, but I have now spent a few sleepless nights thinking about all things Japan because I want to hit the ground running when we get there. Here is a short list of crazy planning things I have done to learn about living in our temporary home:

I used Google street view to find our apartment and locate the Seicomart, 7-11, and Gakuen-Mae subway station (more landmarks to be found still)
I have two (free) Japanese phrase apps on my iPhone that I listen to in the mornings and I have a Japanese phrase CD from the library in my car
I've converted subway and JR maps into PDFs so I can look at them whenever I want
I'm debating whether to bring my wetsuit for surfing and my snowboard stuff (what's my luggage limit?)
I'm looking into a new video camera to document our adventures - Kodak Playsport or Flip Video???
I am learning logos of stores so I recognize things when we get there

Jen!!! The Seicomart logo is a Phoenix!!!

I guess these things aren't really crazy. I just feel crazy thinking about Japan 24-7 for the last three weeks.

No matter what, I am just very excited and looking forward to this trip. Yahoo!

The Rising Sun and the Waxing Moon

2010-07-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

So, the last time I blogged was Dec. 10, 2007. Michael was not yet 1 year old, I had not yet worked for McCain Foods, I did not know how much I loved to practice Brazilian jiu jitsu. So much has happened since then, but perhaps nothing so exciting as our upcoming trip to Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan.

The trip has come as a last-minute surprise, if you will, just learning about the four-month university professor exchange in the first week of July. The original participant had to withdraw, and Rob was asked by a colleague to consider the teaching opportunity. Our tentative departure date is September 11.

We are in preparation mode - renewing passports, getting visas, planning what snack foods to bring for Zane and Mike to make the first few weeks there livable, learning basic Japanese...

The timing of this trip couldn't feel any more perfect. I am big on change. I thrive on being out of my comfort zone because it pushes me to be my best when I am at my worst. It's kind of a fun yet torturous life quest to perfect "grace under pressure."

I also would classify myself as a fatalist, at least now I do after reading my horoscope in Viva magazine Green Living 2010 issue:

Sagittarius
You're dealing with everyday things in April but dreaming of far and distant places. It's time to make the most of this practical theme. Around July 27 when the Full Moon falls in your sign, you're now ready to embrace an exciting future.

It is July 25 and the Full Moon is glowing in a cloudless sky. We are going to Japan.

Words as Catalyst: Exacting Change in the Marketplace

2007-12-07T23:52:00.000-08:00

I'm on page 68 of Naomi Klein's book The Shock Doctrine. She writes about Milton Friedman and the Chicago School attempting to inculcate laissez-faire economics in Chile during the '50s and '60s. I have never before understood the capitalist ideal until now. As utopian as The Communist Manifesto, the pure world of laissez-faire economics is self-sustaining and bountiful. And what do purists, socialist and capitalist alike, detest? A secondary colour wheel of businesses that cater to the concerns of consumers and that work alongside government organizations for the greater good of its citizens and not the bottom line.

With the responsibility of raising two sons, I expend the majority of my energy towards ensuring that any molecule within ten feet of them is free of pesticides/herbicides, organic, non-GMO, non-leaching, kosher...safe.

So, in 2002, two years before my first son was born, I heard David Suzuki say that drinking water from plastic bottles was not a good idea...something to do with hormones. Then, in 2006 I was reminded while reading through the http://www.mothering.com/ website that #something or other plastic should be avoided for that same reason that David Suzuki said four years earlier. When am I going to use this information? Why is it so important that it keeps coming up? I don't know how many times I needed to hear plastic water bottle stories. Even a long-lost classmate sent me a post on Facebook about it.

Nonetheless, the November/December 2007 issue of Mothering magazine reiterated the concern about toxins in plastics in the article "Out of the Mouths of Babes," by Mary Brune. Finally, I listened. Finally, I took note.

I was sent into a fury. I immediately began de-plasticizing my house reading numbers inside arrow-headed triangles. What the heck am I going to do with all this T@#pperw@#$? What did people put their food and drink into before plastic? Oh yeah...ceramic, glass, Stainless steel.

In my fury, I tossed my husband's Nalgene water bottles into the back of the pantry and sent him to work with a ceramic plate, some stainless steel cutlery, and a glass...glass. No later was I on the http://www.mec.ca/ blog type-screaming about Nalgene bottles and toxins and could-you-please-look-into-this-matter.

That was on November 21, 2007. At least, that is the date that is time-stamped on my MEC blog comment. Today, MEC "has become the first major Canadian retailer to pull from its store shelves most products containing bisphenol-A, a chemical found in trace amounts in some hard plastic containers" as per CBC News.

Nice.

A coincedence? Very coincedental. Very effective too. I was just hoping for an email response saying that MEC will just look into the matter. I guess that's what separates a company that answers to $takeholder$ and a company that is a cooperative accountable to its members.

[tie back to Friedmanism... ]

Next challange...Tupperware. Born out of the 50s and manufactured desire. Housewives didn't stand a chance against the American Chemistry Council.

Know Your History!

2007-10-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Before Canadians all start e-ordering clothes from J. Crew (does J. Crew still exist...I should check, eh?) because of our mighty dollar, we should make a few mental notes.

Hmm...does the strong Canadian dollar mean that the PCs are doing a really, really swell job? No. Rather, the Americans are just doing a really, really awesome job at accumulating debt. Okay, but, that should surely mean that the CDN$ will be strong for a really, really long time and then, we can tell the U.S. where to go! No, again. You see, the U.S. debt is due to the WAR ON TERROR (and all public money is being used to make private military companies very rich, and let's name some names - Roosevelt, Rockefeller, oh, and Bush) and we need only to flip our history books about 30 years back to remember the last time our dollar was stronger than the USD. Pssst...the Vietnam War. No coincidence there.

If I weren't up to my eyeballs in child rearing, my thorough research would probably uncover uncanny macroeconomic activity during WW1 and WW2. Also, we need to remember what happened economically after the [scripted] wars ended. What did happen? I'm going to bed.

Zeitgeist Theory: America as Factory Farm

2007-10-24T09:47:00.001-07:00

According to the Zeitgeist movie, the Fat Cats of the Federal Reserve System want the masses to be inundated by mindless media and remain under-educated, malnourished, and complacent.

The United States of America is being run like a factory farm. The general population are the livestock whose families were herded into the suburbs since the end of WWII, who cannot afford drug care (it's not really health care, is it?), and are being fed Frankenfood - fast and slow. And what is a bored suburbanite to do? They do what the power-concentrated media tell them to do...GO TO THE SHOPPING MALL!! Overconsumption is what makes the Almighty American Dollar happy. The fate of American children is predetermined: to be raised as a consumer, and produce and raise even more consumers.

In turn, all this consumption pretties the guise of a bullish American economy and a dreamy entrepreneurial-dom, all the while plushly lining the pockets of the upper echelon.

The American people cannot remain unaware. It is a matter of not overconsuming, of consuming to meet needs, and consuming wisely.

zeitgeistmovie.com

2007-10-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

So, what am I supposed to be thinking and doing after seeing the Zeitgeist movie?

First rxn:

scared to feel powerless...powerless via $$$$$
scared because I have the responsibility of two boys and I don't want them to be pawns in sociopathic Fat Cat games
is my life all for nought if the Fat Cats are manufacturing our world?
what more can I do to decommodify myself and my family? how do we get off the grid without alienating ourselves?

Rxn the next day (after my subconscious could process things):

I do not accept the status quo
I must make even wiser choices for myself and my family
I have to take action...but where? how?
I was just cluing into the abusive power of the World Bank and IMF...Copernicus and Galileo, give me strength!
who's in bed with who? it's a nauseating orgy of greed, gluttony and lust. is there anyone left to trust?

My theory...to come next!

What Have I Been Doing for the Last Ten Years?

2007-10-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

I am using this blog to make an attempt to record my thoughts again. Sadly enough for me, it has been about a decade since I wrote my zine during university.

Where am I now...mommy-brained, yes - but that's not an excuse. I've had a different focus in my life, that is, the lives of my children. Lots of pop-psych books on raising kids, relationships...a time of the deepest introspection I have yet experienced. Now though, I am done with the fluffy, main-stream mommy magazines (I'll remain with Mothering magazine for a couple more years) and I am opting for something hard-edge. My initiation: The Walrus, Adbusters Canada, and Naomi Klein books.

The hamster wheel in my brain is rusty and out of balance. Give me a couple months and some research and I'll be ready to write amok...once more!

First Crack

2007-08-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

I have no clue how to do this blog thing...here goes...but I am hungry and sleepy. Must meet needs before baby wakes up. Sign off.